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Dirty Dacks: Do you know whats in your pants?

The average guy owns five to eight pairs of pants and will pack three of them in his case for a week’s holiday. 9% of American men admit to owning ancient articles of underwear more than ten years old and 15% put their hands up to a five to nine year old vintage batch of drawers in their drawers!

Doctors recommend changing your kecks daily, more often if you get sweaty in ‘em. GQ states that daily washing of pants is non-negotiable. Only 60% of Frenchmen change their drawers daily, 78% of Brits and Aussies are somewhere in between.

A 2011 survey conducted by a household cleaning product company found that 15% of men wear the same pants up to three times before washing them! Outside out, inside out, what do the scurvy knaves do on day three?

The average pair of pants worn by most guys on an average day is four years old and will contain one tenth of a gram of faecal material. One tenth. Of a gram. Of FAECAL MATERIAL. That’s doo-doo to you. Yes doo-doo on your dacks. Maybe the ones you’re wearing now. I’ll just let that sink in.

The point is, you need new pants! Which we presume is why you find yourself on a site that sells them, go mad my friends, treat yourself! Why be Mr Average in 4 year old skivvies when you can be a PIRATE in pristine pants? 

Polly, The Ships Parrot 
AKA, Helen Carter


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