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Underwear: What do you call yours?


Yo ho ho mi'hearties and any landlubbers lurking. The Cap’n has asked me to pen a few words to welcome ye to the website, so well come and well done for finding yer way to the treasure that is Smugglers Underwear.

Undergarments, underpants, undies, underdacks, under-chunders, under-crackers, unmentionables. Slips, smalls, delicates, intimates, drawers, knickers, briefs, tighty-whiteys, Reginald Grundys. Nut cups, budgie smugglers, kecks, skivvies, posing pouches, manties, jocks. Whatever ye call them, we all have them, we all use them and we all probably need new ones!

We wear specialised garments under our everyday clothes for a few different reasons: to keep our outer clothes clean of bodily excretions and to protect our most tender areas from our outer clothes, the material of which tends to be a bit rougher and harder-wearing than we would like next to our delicate bits. We use underwear to shape and enhance or to support and protect, for warmth or to protect our modesty, dainty wee creatures that we are.

29% of surveyed potential partners would get a severe and incurable headache upon the unveiling of ugly undies so jocks need to be visually stimulating as well as clean and comfy.

The Modern Australian Man is in touch with his sensitive side and not afraid to show it. We also deserve to be spoiled, told we are handsome, appreciated and made to feel secure. But until that happens treat yourself to a bit of self-love, pamper yourself with that extra bit of comfort, emerge from the bondage of boring briefs, end underwhelming underwear; express yourself with your pants!

Polly, The Ships Parrot
AKA, Helen Carter

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